Joined: Feb 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 98 Location: Viroqua, WI Karma: 0
Play guns and fighting « Thread Started on Apr 29, 2008, 10:00pm »
I'm curious on other parents' takes on this topic. I was raised to not play guns because guns are not toys and shouldn't be thought of as such, even just pretend. Of course there was the surprisingly not confusing squirt gun play. The reason this wasn't confusing I think is because I could only play with squirt guns that didn't look at all like real guns. We haven't really encountered this issue yet but I see it approaching so that's why it's on my mind. We're hunters and we do have guns in the house. We are very firearm safety conscience but I still believe that I will adopt my parents' rule. Something to ponder I guess, I'd still like to hear what others have to say.
Then there's the other types of violent pretending. At the park today there was a group of older kids (probably around 8-10 yrs old) unattended. They started off by playing hide and seek and then progressed to tag. Then tag progressed to stick tag? Everyone had a giant stick that they chased after another kid with until they got close enough to whack them with it. Harry thought this was wonderful and wanted in on the action! I distracted him, said that we do not hit with sticks and moved him along to another area of the park. Then it seemed the other kids followed (not really- they just wound up where we wound up eventually). Here they decided to make "sand bombs" in the sand box and throw them at the other kids. Again, Harry thought this looked like so much fun, he just had to get in there and join in. And again, I distracted him, told him that we don't throw sand (something I've already been trying to imprint on him- what kid doesn't want to throw sand?) and moved him on to another area. I fought with myself on both occasions. I wanted to tell these children that we don't hit, especially with sticks and that we don't throw sand, at least not at another person. But I knew this wasn't my place, so I bit my tongue. Here comes the big question.........Who's place is it when the kids are unattended? As far as I'm concerned, this is bad behavior and I don't want my kid to see this example.
Proud mama to Harrison, two years old. New doula. Foodie. I also help admin a farming/homesteading forum- http://edbama2.proboards101.com
meggles Guest
Re: Play guns and fighting « Reply #1 on Apr 30, 2008, 12:32pm »
Barb,
The rule in my house is NO GUNS. I agree- they are not toys. Dh completely disagrees with me on this, but at this point my rule is holding. I think society is violent enough without pretending to kill people. We do not have guns in the house at all, although dh would like to get one. I am very nervous about the entire idea to be honest, due to the rash of kids a few years ago that were accidently shooting each other.
Having a boy, I will tell you even if you don't GIVE them a gun to play with, that doesn't mean they won't make one out of anything.. even their sandwich. lol- maybe I'm ridiculous on the entire thing, but I won't let my ds point even a gun sandwhich at people. Anything can be turned into a gun. I DO let my ds pretend that sticks are swords, and he and his sister sometimes 'sword fight' with them, but they do not whack each other because that is not allowed. idk, for me there is a big difference between that and actually sticking people up with a gun. I'm not sure why I feel that way, to be honest, although I suppose I feel like with the sticks they are mutually doing it, and that in some odd way it is exercise and building reflexes.. which guns are not.
As for other kids.. that's a toughie. There was a little boy across the street. His father let him dress up as a movie character one halloween- that particular character wore a mask and killed people with a chainsaw. That boy came over to play with Ethan, and convinced my son that they should pretend my ds was in jail, and that this boy was the jailer. I had to bite my tongue.. I felt it was inappropriate... but they were just playing. It was a toughie for me. I will tell you I am thankful that boy no longer lives across the street.
Raising boys is tough. I don't know how other boys are, but I can tell you mine is ALL boy. He will get really hurt and not cry (broke his pinky.. didn't cry. His fav guinea pig died very recently.. I know he is hurting, but he won't cry). And that is despite the fact that we are a crying household- he has seen both dh and myself cry on numerous occasions. He also often has a short fuse, and his first instinct is to lash out. That is something I have been working on with him for a long time... and have a ways to go still. He is 6, and still often hits. Some of this, I feel, is just the difference between men and women. I do think little boys are born with a more.. aggressive nature. Part of my job as his mom is to help him tame that down to an acceptable level. Again- I don't know if that is just my son, or all little boys, but I see it in other people's sons, too.
Joined: Feb 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 98 Location: Viroqua, WI Karma: 0
Re: Play guns and fighting « Reply #2 on Apr 30, 2008, 12:37pm »
Thanks Meghan! I agree, swordfighting and target practice are waaaay different than hurting people. If Harry wanted to play with a stick that's fine, so long as it's only touching the ground, or another stick? And when he's old enough to take hunter's safety, he'll be able to have a gun for target practice and someday, respectable hunting. Until then.............I think water balloons are where it's at!
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